Schaffer the Darklord - The Rappist Lyrics
I can rock the mic in the old school wayI got a funky soundAnd right about now I'd like to break it downUh, uh, say "what"Don't call it hip-hop because it's really isn'tIf you listen it's similar but just a little differentRhythmically delivered lyrics over wicked beatsAre the end of this and hip-hop's similarities'Cause I don't bounce and I don't do rap handsSee look at me I look like an ass, manNo crew, no gin and juiceI'm no Dr. Dre I'm more like Dr. SeussI wouldn't use the word rapper it's rather inaccurateI do talk fast use rhyming words like immaculateHubba Bubba bubble gumBubblelicious bubble yumRubber baby buggy bumpers, this is dumbI don't rap about the ladies all or individualsOr call my *****in' about the world politicalI don't send shout-outs I don't ever frontI just discuss a bunch of goofy stuff and say "what"I'm not the badest or the fastest or the phattestMy name is STD my people call me the rappistI'm no rapper this isn't hip-hopCall me the rappist and you don't stopWell I'm not the badest or the fastest or the phattestMy name is STD my people call me the rappistEveryone'll wonder what the booker was under when I come out and step to the micYou were asking for a rapper, instead you got the rappistAnd it happens that there's no one I'm likeOutta sightI don't freestyle, I only write my words and I'm singin' itTo me wingin' it's for the birdsI often get asked too by non-rappin' band nerdsSTD is the abbreviation for standardGONo DJ, no need for turntablesJust give me my box, a 58, and a cableAn on stage DI and some monitors, tooBut keep the reverb off my mix sound man, thank youAnd I don't play tough and say "Step the ***** back"What the ***** is that? That's not how I actI like to keep my audience up close to the stageI'd you rather you stay than chased away when I playSo where's Queens at? What? Where's Queens at? What?Dude let me show you on this street mapIt's right here over Roosevelt, across the East riverThat's enough of that crapI got some raps to deliverOhhhEverybody, look at meWho's he? He's STDHe's a geek, he's no MCJust who the hell's he s'posed to beAnd he's so, I dunnoI know he's no rapper and that's when I goHo-tel, Mo-tel, Holiday InnKiller outta sight, it's the rappist delightWhen goosebumps are jumpin' outta your skin, I winI don't dance, never, not a god damn chanceI stand in the back clutching a cup in my stanceOne hand in my pocket, head nodding, hunched overSippin' cheap, yellow beer, clear out before the show's overWhen a rapper says "throw your hands up" I don'tWhen a rapper says "make some noise" I won'tBossing your audience is awfully pompousSo I'll never do it, that's the STD promiseI'll never battle rap or rap like I'm blackAnd I'll try to never lose sight of just where I'm atGoddamnit!And I'll never do that againAnd by that I mean end a sentence with a prepositionI got props for the real hip-hopThose who pop and lock to the beat of a boomboxThose who ***** their Glocks and yell "***** the cops!"It's just not how I rock and I don't stopEverybody, look at meWho's he? He's STDHe's a geek, he's no MCJust who the hell's he s'posed to beAnd he's so, I dunnoI know he's no rapper and that's when I goDon't push me 'cause I'm close to the edgeAnd I'm tryin' not to lose my headIn the west, I'm the raddest, I'm the best, I'm the rappistIn the street I've not a drop of credI saidI almost always write my rhymes on a page of 3 by 5 notebooks I buy at Rite AidAnd I like to write 'em with a Pilot Precise 5, rolling ball, black ink, and extra fineI don't need a titular line (try)Stickin' to my themes and write original rhymesIndeed, I smoke weed, I rarely write without itBut I don't really feel that means I need to rap about itI guess I often write song by my formulaWhich is 3 verses followed by 3 chorusesBut never open going "yo, yo!"When I hear a rapper do that I go "oh, no!"Though I'm not implyin' that you don't know what you're doin'But often times awful rhymes do ruin an otherwise perfectly fine instrumentalI think you should avoid ink and write with a pencilAnd erase the parts that don't sound so hotThis'll all be covered in my workshop entitled "This is How to Write a Rhyme"At least it's how to write it in a style that's mineEverybody, look at meWho's he? He's STDHe's a geek, he's no MCJust who the hell's he s'posed to beAnd he's so, I dunnoI know he's no rapper and that's when I goOooh ooohThat's the sound of the police but I really doubt they're coming for meBecause I've done no crime, I'm just doin' my thingI'm the rappist known as STDDon't call it hip-hop because it really isn'tIt's just a little different, did you listen as I did itI just spit a mile a minute now I'll hit it 'n quit itI'm only kiddin', you with it? You in it? You get it?Well, I'm not the baddest or the fastest or the phattestMy name is STD my people call me the rappistBassHow low can you go? DeathrowWhat a brotha knowsThis is the end of the track called "The Rappist"And thanks for comin' out to the show
