Tom Green - Hey Masturbator Lyrics
OH OH OH! (squishy sound)Sitting in my houseAnd I know that I'm alone,Feeling kind'a hornyGot a tingle in my boneGo and grab a PenthouseIt's the one with Sharon Stone,HEY MASTURBATOR!I go a little fasterWhen it's feeling kind'a niceOnce ain't enough so I have to do it twiceIf you wanna spank the monkeyI can give you good adviceHEY MASTURBATOR!*Woman moans*I use some baby oilOr a little vaselineLaying down a towelSo I keep my carpet cleanNever shake my handCuz' you don't know where it's beenHEY MASTURBATOR!I do it in my carWhile I'm driving down the streetOne hand on the wheelAnd the other on my meatI can't get out the carCuz I'm sticking to the seatHEY MASTURBATOR!*Tom Green, a goat and the woman moan*Since I was a kidI have been a masturbatorChoke the chickenHold the knobSqueezing the tomatoI flip to miss NovemberNow I'm gonna decorate 'erHEY MASTURBATOR!Buffing the bananaDrain the lizardShake and bake'emPounding on the flounderAnd it's mayonnaise I'm makin'Spank the frankWax the carrotGod my hand it's achingHEY MASTURBATOR!*everyone moans*HEY MASTURBATOR!
