CATS - Gus, The Theatre Cat Lyrics
"Gus The Theatre Cat" appears next. He's an aged stage actorsuffering from palsy, who worked with the greatest actors of hisday. Gus tells of his greatest theatrical triumphs, and yearnsto do it again.SOLO:Gus is the cat at the theatre doorHis name, as I ought to have told you beforeIs really Asparagus, and that's a fuss to pronounceThat we usually call him just GusHis coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rakeAnd he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shakeYet he was in his youth quite the smartest of catsBut no longer a terror to mice or to ratsFor he isn't the cat that he was in his primeThough his name was quite famous, he says, in his timeAnd whenever he joins his friends at their club(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)He loves to regale them, if someone else paysWith anecdotes drawn from his palmiest daysFor he once was a star of the highest degreeHe has acted with Irving, he's acted with TreeAnd he likes to relate his success on the hallsWhere the gallery once gave him seven cat callsBut his greatest creation as he loves to tellWas Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fellGUS:I have played in my time every possible partAnd I used to know seventy speeches by heartI'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gagAnd I knew how to let the cat out of the bagI knew how to act with my back and my tailWith an hour of rehearsal, I never could failI'd a voice that would soften the hardest of heartsWhether I took the lead, or in character partsI have sat by the bedside of poor little NellWhen the curfew was rung then I swung on the bellIn the pantomime season, I never fell flatAnd I once understudied Dick Whittington's catBut my grandest creation, as history will tellwas Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fellSOLO:Then, if someone will give him a toothful of ginHe will tell how he once played a part in East LynneAt a Shakespeare performance he once walked on patWhen some actor suggested the need for a catGUS:And I say now these kittens, they do not get trainedAs we did in the days when Victoria reignedThey never get drilled in a regular troupeAnd they think they are smart just to jump through a hoopSOLO:And he says as he scratches himself with his clawsGUS:Well the theatre is certainly not what is wasThese modern productions are all very wellBut there's nothing to equal from what I hear tellThat moment of mystery when I made historyAs Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fellI once crossed the stage on the telegraph wireTo rescue a child when a house was on fireAnd I think that I still can much better than mostProduce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghostAnd I once played GrowltigerCould do it again, could do it againCould do it again
