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MC Lars - Signing Emo Lyrics

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  • Once upon a time, in the city of Los Angeles...
  • "Marty, Marty listen to me. Bring me something the kids will cry for.
  • Get out there, and get us stoked!"
  • Meet Marty, major label A&R scout, forty years old, gut hanginh out.
  • Red Ferrari, Marty livinh in L.A. bumps another line to get through the day.
  • Dumped by his girl, he paid for her liposuction,
  • His friends call him "Money", in his introduction.
  • And Marty knows nothing but claims to know it all,
  • Lose the flat screen TV if he drops the ball.
  • Youre as good as your last hit, find the next big thing.
  • If he doesn't bring the bling, his cell phone won't ring.
  • What's the trend, what's new? What's a label scout to do? Office life, Marty 11:32.
  • The label pres. calls and yells, "Sign more emo!"
  • How about screamo? "If it sells, sign Nemo,"
  • "We're down 2%, and BMG knows,
  • My Daughter likes Dashboard, so get me one of those!"
  • He checks AP.net, the Scout and more,
  • yelling band names to his assistant through the door.
  • The kids like this, who cares if it's great?
  • So he signs a band called Hearts that Hate.
  • "Marty... we've got a hit."
  • CHORUS
  • Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
  • I won't let you die tonight.
  • Cry tonight. My heart's in your hands.
  • I won't let you...
  • Hearts that Hate, Marty goes to their show, up in the club and here we go.
  • Marty sees a girl in a Simple Plan shirt with a Senses Fail boy, thatll never work.
  • He finds his label friends in the corner they huddle,
  • An emo cattle auction, they penetrate the bubble.
  • They talk about Victory and signing TBS,
  • Dissing the same bands they just tried to impress.
  • So the lights go down, the crowd starts to scream,
  • Hearts that Hate have hit the scene.
  • Blake on vocals, and lead guitar,
  • He does a backflip, "Look how different we are!"
  • They show up at the studio to record it,
  • A TRL, Billboard Modern Rock hit.
  • They auto-tune Blake, but he can't tell.
  • He says, "I've got perfect pitch, damn I sing well."
  • ProTools, Logic, cut, copy, paste, quantized solos and quantized bass.
  • Signed, sealed, deliver and sent, across the U.S. and the single went...
  • REPEAT CHORUS
  • Momentum builds, but it all caves in.
  • Industrial comes back, the pres. needs a NIN.
  • Marty finds a new band called "Fetal Coil"
  • And Hearts that Hate try to keep their fans loyal.
  • They re-work their sound for album number two,
  • As "Machines of Hate," but their career is through.
  • They break up and work pushing mops and brooms,
  • Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.
  • Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room,
  • Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.
  • "Can you teach me track five Mr. Blake?"
  • "Hey, I wrote that song and it goes like this!"
  • REPEAT CHORUS

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