Adam Sandler - The Lonesome Kicker Lyrics
Performed by adam sandler, allen covert, jon rosenburg, and teddy castellucciMe, Im the lonesome kickerExtra points, field goals at your serviceOne might think it comes with gloryYou might think different after you listen to my storyMy helmet is equipped with a tiny face maskWhat it possibly could protect, I do not knowThe other guys on the teamLike to make fun of my little shoulder padsAnd also like to hide the special shoeI need to kick in the snowPeople think its so easyTo kick a field goal from the 30 yard lineThey forget to add seven yards for the snapAnd 10 more cause the goal posts are pushed way backIn 1974, the uprights were right on the goal lineBut some of the players were running into themAnd getting hurtSo screw the kickerWho cares about the kicker?But I kick that ballAnd I pray it goes straightIf it doesThe coach says good job, number 8He doesnt even know my name isAndre kristacovitchlalinski, jr.But thats the life I liveThe lonesome kickerKickoffs can be so very scaryEspecially, if the returner breaks on throughAnd Im the only guy on the playing field left to tackle himI dont want to get hurtSo I pretend to tie my shoeOnce again, Im ignored by my teammates and all my coachesGo back where you came from!Scream 70,000 fansWell, I know I could win their love backBy catching a winning touch-downBut, unfortunately, I was born with these very small handsAnd I hope that the cameras dont come in too closecause they might see the tears in my eyesAs I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted woodAnd the splinters go deep in my thighsAnd the towel boy snickers as he walks byThe lonesome kickerAnother blocked kickAnd everybody blames meBut it was the left guardWho didnt pick up his manOh, why cant they see...In my home countryI could have been a minor league soccer playerBut I came to americaSeeking fortune and seeking fameI didnt realize that if I shanked oneAnd blew the point spreadSome drunk guys would push me into their hibachiAfter the gameSo I go home at nightcause I never get invitedTo go drinking with the other guysAnd I sit in my chair, and I soak my footAs I eat a plate of cold french friesAnd my wifes out with her quote-unquote friendAnd my son cant look me in the eyesBut thats the life I liveThe lonesome kickerKicking for youThey took my snow shoeTheyre going for two
