Adam Sandler - The Mule Session Lyrics
My girlfriend left me for a seven foot IndianMy grandma hung herself on a tree in the CaribbeanMy sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his noseAnd Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's pantyhose, yeahI just lost my job to a God damn robot (Good times!)Then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything I gotBut I've got my muleHe's a very, very nice muleHe walks with me home from schoolCause he's a very, very nice muleWhen he was a baby my mother fed him gruelBut now he prefers to dine on his own stoolHe always philosophizes with the rabbis after shulCause he's a very, very pious muleWhen he sees a picture of a carrot he has a tendency to druelOn Halloween he tries to scare me by dressing up as a ghoulHe once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duelCause he's a very, very Old school muleA needle-nosed plier is his favorite toolHe lifeguards on a volunteer basis and the Rec. Center poolWhen I break down on the side of the road he shows up with unleaded fuelHe's a devoted fan of Ms. Paula AbdulAnd also approves of the recent makeover of former folkie Jewel(coughing)When I told him Halle Berry's husband cheated he just shook his head and said to himself 'what a fool'Cause he's a very, very monogamous mule(snoring) Porkchop! Wake up, man, the session's not over!After several well-publicized arrests for public urination he now drinks exclusively O'DoulAnd every year he puts on a presentation at the Boys Club to show kids smoking isn't coolHis favorite Elvis song is 'Don't be Cruel', no it's 'Hound Dog'I was just kidding you
