Cheech & Chong - Santa Clause And His Old Lady Lyrics
Cm: Cheech Marin tc: Tommy Chong)Cm: (Playing piano) "Mamamasita, donde esta Santa Cleese... The vecto wit daBony knees... He comin' down da street wit no choos on his feet... And he'sGoing to... " No, no, that's ain't it... "Mamamasita, donde esta SantaClaus... Da guy wit da hair on his jaws... He's... " Nah. Hey, man, comeOver here, man. I need some help, man.Tc: Yeah, man, I can dig that. Like, what are ya doin', man?Cm: Aw, I'm trying to write a song about Santa Claus, man, but it's notComin' out...Tc: About who, man?Cm: About Santa Claus, man. You know, Santa Claus, man?Tc: Oh, yeah, man. I played with those dudes, man.Cm: what?Tc: Yeah, last year at the Philmore, man. Me and the base player sat in, man.Cm: Oh, hey, man, you think Santa Claus is a group, huh? No, it's not aGroup, man.Tc: Wha? They break up, man?Cm: No, man. It's one guy, man. Y'know, he had a.. A red suit, man, on withBlack padded leather choos... You know the guy, man.Tc: Oh, yeah... He's with Motown, ain't he? Yeah, I played with that dude,Too, man. He's a good singer, man.Cm: No, no, hold on, man. He's not with Motown, man.Tc: Well, then he's with Buddha, man.Cm: Aw, man, you don't know who Santa Claus is, man!Tm: Yeah, well, I'm not from here, man. Like, I'm from Pittsburgh, man. IDon't know to many local dudes.Cm: Ohhh, I see. Well, hey, man, sit back and relax and I'll tell you daStory about Santa Claus, man. Listen:Once upon a time, about, hmmm, five years ago, there was this groovy dudeAnd has name was Santa Claus, y'know? And he used to live over in theProjects with his old lady, and they had a pretty good thing togetherBecause his old lady was really fine, and she could cook and all thatStuff like that, y'know. Like, she made da best brownies in town, man!Oh, I could remember 'em now, man. I could eat one of 'em, man...Tc: Wow, did you know these people, man?Cm: Oh, yeah, man. They used to live next door to me, y'know... Until theyGot kicked out, man.Tc: Wha? They got kicked out of the projects, man?Cm: Yeah, you what happened, man? They used ta live with all these midgets,Y'know, and da midgets used ta make a lot noise, y'know, like pounding andHammering and pounding all night, man...Tc: Typical freaks, huh?Cm: Oh, yeah, man, they were really freaks, man. As a matter of fact, theyAll moved up north together, y'know.Tc: Oh, they had to go get their head together, man?Cm: Yeah, get their head together. And they started a commune, y'know. ItWas called the... Uh... "Santa Claus and his Old Lady Commune"; it was aReal famous one up there, man. And they used to sit around and grooveAll the time, y'know.Tc: Oh, yeah?Cm: Yeah, a really good time there, man.Tc: That sounds heavy, man.Cm: Yeah, they eat da brownies, man, and they drink da tea, man... And whatThey did most of da time, though, was make a lotta goodies, y'know? AndThey had everything they needed; they only needed to come into townMaybe once year or something like that...Tc: To pick up the welfare check and the food stamps, right.Cm: Yeah, man. No, no, what they did, man, is that, once a year, when theyMade all the goodies, y'know, they used ta put 'em in a big chopping bagAnd, then, they used ta take da chopping bag and give 'em to all theBoys and girls all da way around da world, man!Tc: Hey, well, that's hip, man! That sounds real nice, man.Cm: Oh, yeah, they were really nice people man. And so much class, man...They had so much class, y'know. Like, give or take da way they used taDeliver da toys, y'know. It's, like, Santa Claus used ta have thisReally charp chort, man, y'know? It was lower to da ground, had twice-Pipes, candy-apple red and button top. Oooo, clean!Tc: Hey, that sounds like a hip snowmobile, man.Cm: No, no, it wasn't a snowmobile; it was a sled, y'know. One of those bigSleds, y'know? And he used ta have it pulled by some reindeers, y'know,Like, reindeers?Tc: Some what, man?Cm: Some reindeers, y'know. He used ta hook them onto da sled, and then heUsed ta stand up inside da sled and hold on to da reins, and then callOut their names, like, "On, Donner! On, Blitzen! On, Chewy! On, Tavo!C'mon, Becto! " And then, the reindeers used ta take off into da sky andFly across da sky, man!Tc: Wow, man! That's far out, man!Cm: Yeah! And then, when they flied across da sky, they used ta come down toPlace like, oh, Chicago, L. A., Nueva York and Pacoima and all thosePlaces, y'know, and then land on top of people's roofs, and then 'ol SantaClaus would make himself real small, y'know, like, a real small guy, andHe'd come down da chimney and then he would give you all da stuff that heMade, man. And... Dig this, man... He did it all in one night, man!Tc: Hey, just a minute, man. Now, how'd he do that, man?Cm: Oh, well, man, he took da freeway. How else, man?Tc: No, man. No, man, how'd he do all that other stuff, man? Like, how'd heMake himself small, man. And, how'd he, like, how'd he get the reindeerOff the ground, man?Cm: Oh, well, man, he had some magic dust, man.Tc: Some magic dust?Cm: Yeah, magic dust, y'know? He used ta give a little bit to da reindeer, aLittle bit to Santa Claus, a little bit more for Santa Claus, a littleBit more...Tc: And this would get the reindeer off, man?Cm: Aw, got 'em off, man?!? Are you kidding, man? They flew all da wayAround da world, man!Tc: Hey, that's far out, man! Hey, I come I never met this dude, man?Cm: Oh, man, he doesn't do that bit anymore, man. It got too dangerous, man.Tc: Yeah, I can dig that, man, 'cause that's a dangerous bit, man!Cm: Yeah, lemme tell ya, it sure was, man. Like just two years ago, man, heGot stopped at the border, y'know, and they took him into another roomAnd took off his clothes, man, and searched him and searched his bag ofGoodies, man... And then, when he was leaving, man, he was flying throughThe air and somebody took a chot and his reindeer, y'know.Tc: Aw, that's a drag, man.Cm: Yeah, it really was, man. And then, man, he went down south, man, andThey tried to cut of his hair and his beard, man. And all the time, heWas getting stopped and pulled over and asked for his id, man.... JustEverywhere he went, he ran into too much recession, man.Tc: No, man, you mean he ran into too much repression, man.Cm: Aw, "repression"... "recession"... It's all da same thing, man.Tc: Yeah, man. But, it's a drag, man, 'cause we could sure use a dude likeThat right now.Cm: Oh, he still comes around, man.Tc: Oh, yeah?Cm: Yeah, but he comes in disguises now...Tc: Aw, he went "underground", man.Cm: Yeah, "underground", man.Tc: I can dig it.Cm: Yeah. But you ought to see his disguise; nobody would ever know it wasHim, man.Tc: Oh, yeah?Cm: Yeah. He's gotta job in front of da department store, ringing this bellAnd playing this tambourine next to this black pot, y'know?Tc: aw, I've seen the dude, man!Cm: yeah! You know who I'm talking about, man!Tc: Yeah, man! I played with that cat last year, man!Cm: wha?!?!?Tc: Yeah, we played in front of a store, man! We made a lot of bread, man!Cm: Aw, hey, wait a minute, man! Santa Claus is not a musician, man!Tc: I'm hip, man! That cat didn't know any tunes, man!Cm: Oh, hey, wait a minute, man... No, he's not hip to that at all, man.Tc: No, but I played with this dude, man.Cm: Are you sure, man?Tc: Positive!
