Adam Kay - Menstrual Rag Lyrics
Once a month your girl's upsetShe goes to Boots to buy LiletsIt happens every 28 days,When she's in her Luteal phase.All she does in moan and nag,You go five days without a shagThere's no cunnilingusYou can only use your fingersWhen she's using a menstrual rag.For the week or two preceedingThe days your other half is bleeding,The moody ***** is in a stressComplaining about PMS and,When her womb has started sluffin,You won't be eatin any muffin,Two, four, six, eight,Come on girls, lets menstruate.Heavy flow or gentle spotting,Running down her legs or clottingAll that lining that she sheds leavesNasty patches on your bedsheets.Just don't waste your efforts pleadingYou won't be shagging when she's bleedingThe Methenamic acid means you might as well be flaccidWhen she's using a menstrual rag.It's hard to be all that devotedWhen she is looking fat and bloatedFrom all the water she's retaining,While her pants have nasty staining.You won't be doing any gropingWhen she's losing haemoglobin,Two, four, six, eight,Come on girls, lets menstruate.Get those Bodyforms with wings,and grab your Tampax by the strings,and TENA lady's sanitary pads,come on boys you've seen the ads.This dance is sweeping through the nation,Here's three cheers for menstruation,Its the latest crazeEvery 28 daysThey're all using a menstrual,Using a menstrual rag.
